Hello readers! For this blog post, I’ve decided to share some of my personal feelings that I’ve been experiencing for a while now. This is my second semester at UMHB and it has been incredibly stressful. I’ve been sick multiple times, so I’ve missed many classes, therefore my grades have been slipping. Being sick also takes a major toll on one’s voice and when you’re a vocal track music education major with a two week sinus infection, things get pretty tough.
For a while now, all these things have been really falling down on me. Last semester I always had time to practice, I was never sick, I was making great grades. Making bad grades and not being able to practice as much because of work or being sick this semester was not good at all for my self esteem. For the past month, I’ve been debating changing majors because I was so unsure of myself as a musician. For my entire life, music has meant everything to me. It’s the only thing that’s always been able to help me when I’m down, and it’s always been my go-to for any and every situation that I come across. So feeling like I wasn’t good enough to be a musician, or that it just wasn’t for me anymore was incredibly hard on me. This semester, I also haven’t been going to church as much as I used to. I don’t read my bible or pray as much as I used to. The other day, thinking about all these things really hit me hard, and I sat in my dorm and actually prayed for an answer on what to do, or at least some sort of sign.
Yesterday, I logged onto my computer so I could download a program for music scoring for my theory class (ha ha). I figured while I was online I might as well check my school email. I opened it and saw that I had an email from one of the music professors at UMHB. I then remembered a few months ago, I sent in an audition video to him for the Chapel Band next year. When I saw that the first words were “hi Bailey,” I immediately freaked out. I thought “Oh no, I didn’t make the Chapel Band and he’s just letting me know. This isn’t what I need right now, it’s not helping my case at all.” I went on to read the email, and found out he sent it to let me know he wants me to lead the Chapel Band for next semester!
I definitely feel like this is a sign that I need to continue to major in music at UMHB. I truly believe I am right where God wants me to be and that he heard my prayer. I am so excited to keep pursuing this degree and lead the Chapel Band next year. I can’t wait to see what else is in store for me. Thanks for reading!
“I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves.” -Hillsong United